I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
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I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.