just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.