Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
