Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just had sex bonerless
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
