She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
