Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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