I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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