I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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