just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
