gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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