Will you blow on my dice?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
