shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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