My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
