Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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