I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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