chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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