He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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