A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fuck appropriateness.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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