I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
