ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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