So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
