I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize