I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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