Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
