I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
did i just pee glitter
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
