Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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