We won't sleep together?
i barfeds in our rink
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
