Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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