I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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