How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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