Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
