I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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