Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
