you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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