i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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