I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This toilet bowl is my home.
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