Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
