yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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