I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
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This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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