two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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