so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
