Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
