I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
