I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
