apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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