Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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