I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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