I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
