Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize