my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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