Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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