My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
