He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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