what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How does one acquire holy water?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
