he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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