Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
