this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
