Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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