ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
