I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
