I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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